


The Bath

by churb



Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Gen, same old really, sylvia being a mom, wander being a brat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2773331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/churb/pseuds/churb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short story about Wander not wanting to do things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bath

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably going to be shit
> 
> hm
> 
> if this was an episode it'd prolly be a short. maybe about 5 minutes long. i might make it actual episode length later. maybe.

“Wander.”  
  
“No!”  
  
The tree is, as trees go, fairly tall.  
  
This is a good thing. It means the branches provide adequate protection. He has to cling on quite tightly in case he falls and breaks something, but it’s a good hiding place.  
  
“ _Wander._ ”  
  
“No!!”  
  
Sylvia glares at him from on the ground, and Wander tightens his grip on the tree, giving her a suspicious look in return.  
  
“Get down here, Wander.” She’s keeping mostly calm, but he knows her well enough to know she’s going to lose her temper any minute now. “Or so help me.”  
  
His response to this is to tighten his grip with one arm, and unhook the other, pointing a finger at her. “Don’t think I’m going to succumb to your whims, you vile temptress!”  
  
“....I’m a _what_ now.”  
  
Maybe that wasn’t a good idea. Wander comes to the realisation that he’s on thin ice and quickly backtracks.  
  
“I’m not coming down, Sylvia!”  
  
“Wander--”  
  
“No way!”  
  
“Jeez, what’s the matter with you? It’s just a bath.”  
  
(Sometimes he has moments where he feels like, if his life were in episodes, this is where the title card would go. Now is one of those times.)  
  
“Maybe I don’t _want_ a bath.” Wander sits himself up and crosses his arms.  
  
“Look, I. I don’t care what you _want_ , okay. This has been going on long enough! Just get down here!”  
  
“Nope.”

  
“Wander!”  
  
“Nuh uh.”  
  
Sylvia stares at him for a little longer before huffing. “Fine.” Wander gets a slight feeling that something bad is going to happen.  
  
“If you’re not coming down, I’ll just have to come and get you myself!” And with that, Sylvia flings herself at the tree. Wander stares at her with a slight feeling of dread as she pulls herself up on pure muscle strength. She literally just slides along. She doesn’t even touch the branches.

  
Wander shuffles himself along the branch and stares as Sylvia pulls herself onto the branch opposite, apparently sensing that the one Wander’s sat on wouldn’t take both their weights. She holds her arm out, the other looping around the tree. “Come on, Wander.” Slightly gentler.  “We’ll go down together, okay?”  
  
“I said I’m not coming down. So. I’m not coming down.” Wander turns away and crosses his arms.  
  
“You’re being childish.”  
  
He doesn’t really have a response to that. He tries several times to come up with one and fails, before resorting to muttering under his breath.  
  
“That just _proves my point_. Listen, buddy, it’s not that bad, okay? The water’s warm, and it’s not too deep, and you just really, really need a bath, okay. And come to think of it, maybe a brush too--”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Wander, you’re filthy. We did not go to the cleanest places today, and you are covered in--- well, whatever you’re covered in. I don’t really want to know. Come on.”  
  
Wander closes his eyes in a self righteous sort of way, keeping his arms crossed.  
  
“I’m sorry, Sylvia, but it is not happening.”  
  
“I’ll buy you a smoothie.”  
  
“I do not accept _bribes._ ”  
  
“I’m not accepting whatever this is!--”  
  
“This is me saying no.” He stretches out the next syllable in a patronising sort of way. “No.”  
  
“I am seriously suggesting you adjust your attitude.” Sylvia inches a little closer to Wander’s branch and makes a grab for him.  
  
“Well gee, I’m sorry. _Mom_.”  
  
Sylvia makes another grab, raising her eyebrows.   
  
“Are you sure you want to play that game, Wander. Because I can play that game. Believe me, I am very, very good at that game.”  
  
Wander doesn’t respond, apart from giving her a patronising and slightly incredulous look, raising his eyebrows. Sylvia makes another swipe and manages to get hold of him, putting him over her shoulder. This elicits a squeal.  
  
“Sylvia!”  
  
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, _honey_.” She’s smirking, he can tell. He slightly resents it.   
  
“And what are you gonna do?”  
  
“Don’t push me.” She reaches the ground and starts walking, Wander still over her shoulder. There’s a vaguely satisfied air about her.  
  
Wander squirms. This only tightens her grip.  
  
“Come on, Syl. Put me down.”  
  
“Sorry, buddy. Not happening.”  
  
He appears to be losing this battle.Wander kicks some more, before huffing, resigning himself to this fate. He’s eventually set down on the river bank, and Sylvia sits herself next to him, pulling off his hat and rummaging around in it.  
  
“What are you doing with that?”  
  
“Proving my point.” She pulls out some flannels and what looks like shower gel with another triumphant smirk. Or maybe she just never stopped smirking. “Only what you _need_ , huh.”  
  
“Do we _have_ to do this.”  
  
“Uh huh.” She squeezes some of the shower gel onto the flannel and rubs it in. “Sorry, pal. Sometimes you just have to-- oh come _on_.”  
  
Sylvia had made the mistake of saying that while looking at the flannel. When she looks back up, Wander is gone, and her instincts take her gaze back to the tree. She is proved right. Wander is laid across the branch, arms behind his head and eyes closed, a smile on his face.  
  
Sylvia gets back up and potters over to the tree, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
“Wander.”  
  
“Mhm.”  
  
“I’m going to count to three.”  
  
Wander swings his legs around so he’s hanging off the edge. “Good for you!” He yells, cupping his hands over his mouth. “Maybe if you really try, you can get to five this time!”  
  
Sylvia processes this.  
  
“...Alright, you’re getting slapped for that.” It’s more to herself than him, before turning her attention back to the latter. “That does it. One.”  
  
Wander makes no attempt at moving. Well, not down anyway. He just stands up and leans on the tree, a smirk on his face. There’s a small crackling noise when he adjusts, some of the leaves brushing against him.  
  
Sylvia narrows her eyes. “Two.”  
  
Wander leans his back against the tree, crossing his arms. He’s sort of leant against the leaves, now, snaking their way on small branches across the trunk. The crackling continues.  
  
“Th--”  
  
Wander makes no attempt to move.  
  
“--ree-- Wander!”  
  
They both find at around the same time that they were horrifically wrong.  
  
The crackling noise was not the leaves.  
  
It takes a few seconds for this to process in Sylvia’s head, and by this time, the branch has already broken and Wander is already falling. For some reason, fortunately, she instinctively started running.  
  
Wander keeps falling.  
  
Sylvia narrows her eyes and dives.  
  
There would probably be some dramatic music at around now. Maybe some slow motion. But Wander realises, to his horror, that his life is not a movie. This is not going slowly at all.  
  
He’s not sure if he’s going to make it out of this okay.  
  
He shuts his eyes, bracing himself for impact.  
  
Sylvia slides.  
  
Just before she hits the tree, she registers a sharp pain in her arms, and a small panic starts up within her (how does she catch Wander if her arms aren’t co-operating?) before opening her eyes and realising the connection. Wander is laid across her arms, staring at the sky, a somewhat traumatised expression on his face, before slowly looking over.  
  
Sylvia offers a weak smile. “Hey, buddy.”  
  
“Did I die?”  
  
“Nope.” Sylvia sits up, setting Wander on the floor. “Not that I know of. You gonna take a bath now?”  
  
There’s no response. Wander just stares at her. Sylvia can’t help but feel kind of worried.  
  
“Wander?”  
  
Slowly, his face just sort of. Changes. Sylvia straightens up as his eyes widen, and she braces herself for tears before she’s met with a grin instead.  
  
“That was _amazing!_ ”  
  
“Uh. Was it.”  
  
“Yes! That was _so_ much fun! Can we do it again?”  
  
“Yeah. Maybe not.” She gently takes Wander’s wrist and drags him over to the river. This time, he doesn't offer that much by way of complaint.  
  
“So...I’m guessing you’re going to co operate now.”  
  
Wander shrugs. “You were right, I guess. I do kind of need a bath.”  
  
“What did I tell you.”  
  
A pause.  
  
“Well, it's just, you know." Wander retains his slightly dopey smile. "I think I'm...kind of bleeding now.”  
  
The horror in Sylvia's face is pretty much self explanatory.  
  
“ _Wander._ ”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> was i right ladies and gentlemen
> 
> i was.
> 
> definitely going to add more to this ie actual bathing and maybe a bit of brushies but for now i just want to get this out tbh


End file.
